English Is Your Best Friend

“Yo shawwty warrr it do’!  ‘Hey ma, wat it is’! ‘Damn, shawty u’z a dime’!

These are some of the lines I get from rough looking raggamuffins at the bus stop! First off, the terms shawtty, ma, dime, fine, lime and whatever else rhymes will get a big WTF and exaggerated eye roll.  Let’s look at each line individually shall we.

‘Yo shawwty warrr it do’! Ummm…’YO’. In your limited vocabulary usage, you couldn’t find it in your heart of hearts to say ‘Excuse me, miss!’  ‘Shawtty warr it do!’ I find it highly disrespectful to assume that I understand your lingua franca, because I sure do not. What is a ‘shawtty’? Urrgh!! What happened to the era of refined gentlemen, with manners?

‘Hey ma, wat it is!’. Thank you very much for the greeting (Hey) at least, we are getting somewhere, but then they forget and regress! Since when did I become your mother (ma)? Nope,nope, nope!!! I do not remember ever giving birth to you. ‘Wat it is!’ Really? What is where?! I do not get it. Honestly, help me. How am I supposed to reply? Hey ma, wat it is, Hey papi wat it do?! LMAO. I refuse to acknowledge slang vibes from dudes that look like hell on earth.

‘Damn, shawty u’z a dime’!  ‘Damn’! Is that the new ‘Hello’? ‘Shawty’, we already went over this. I HATE that word! ‘Dime’! Goodness me. I start laughing at this point. I just bust out laughing and the, ruggamuffins always give me a confused look, like is this is a joke to you? It sure is!!!!

Folks what’s the point of this post, let’s speak English. Embrace this universal language in its entirety. It will get you  a date!

*Read this article with a humor backbone*

Happy English speaking days!

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