How to break up with someone

You see no light at the end of a tumultous relationship tunnel. You’ve exhausted all manner of possible excuses to not break up. You are now at the point of fuck it, this is it, it is the end of the road. So how do you break up with him or her, with a little drama? Find out how….

  1.  Invite him to a pow wow, deep hearted-emotional tear jerking coffee date. While enjoying your probably, over      priced, underpaid workers coffee start screaming at the top of the voice. we, I mean me and you are done. After which, you just run outside. Leave him bewildered with absolutely no explanation. 
  2. Go to one of those jazzy spoken word sessions and bust out your best break up poetry.  If you are not in a position to do that, pay somebody to do it for you.
  3. Call his phone and leave a message that starts along the lines of “Hey baby, I think you are the bomb diggity, and  I just wanted to apologize for all the wrongs I have done….silence….then just go totally ballistic crazy! Start screaming, “it’s over, it’s over, finito, it’s over”.
  4. If you live together, pack your things before he gets home. Prepare a nice dinner for him, and while he is enjoying it, excuse yourself and bring your suitcases to the dining area….he should know what time it is, then
  5. Instead of being all dramatic and crazy. Just tell him, bye it’s over, and move the hell on.

EY lovers, carefully assess your situation before trying any one of these remedies!


2 thoughts on “How to break up with someone

  1. “You are now at the point of fuck it, this is it, it is the end of the road.” I’m surprised, didn’t seem like you guys used the “F” word lol

    1. welcome sultrydiva,

      I do use em here and there sparingly to make a point….it is in the dictionary you know, although they call it urban…I wonder why?!

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