Random: African email scammers

Stop the madness!

I hate spam mail! Oh mi gosh…..I truly do because I’m always being asked to partner with some crazy posted up in the mountains of Burkina Faso or somewhere in the middle of a Bank of Nigeria….smh! My people, stop the motherfriggin madness.  This is a sample of what I always get, and the response I would if ever we were to meet in person.

I Need Your Urgent Response.
FROM Mr David Zongo

DEAR FRIEND, Slow your roll, I don’t even know you. Urrrgh!

This message might come to you as a surprise. No shit!

However, it all just my urgent need for a foreign partner that made me to contact you for this transaction. I got your contact from yahoo tourist search when I was searching for a foreign partner. I assured of your capability and reliability to champion this business opportunity when I prayed to God or Allah about you. I guess the god that you prayed to forgot to remind you we have never met, we have not established any sort of relationship and as such will never meet?! GFOH with your madness!

I am a banker by profession in Burkina Faso West Africa and currently holding the post of assistant foreign remittance director in our bank. I have the opportunity of transferring the left over funds ($15 million dollars) of one of my bank clients who died along with his entire family on Monday 31st July 2004 in a plane crash. Really! One of your esteemed clients done died and is six feet under turning in their grave because of what you are about to do with his money. Shame on you. Banks are not supposed to release their clients confidential information, so why the fuck are you doing this?! Oh by the way you are 7 years late. You should have contacted me sooner!

Hence I am inviting you for a business deal where this money can be shared between us in the ratio of 60 / 40% it you agree to my business proposal. Further details of the transfer will be forwarded to you as soon as I receive your return mail immediately you receive this letter. Please indicate your willingness by sending the below information for more clarification and easy communication.
(1)Your full name…………….. Fuck outta here with that mess
(2)Your contact address……….. Don’t give a damn street
(3)Your Tel and Fax number…….. 1-800-GET A LIFE!
(4)Your age………………….. I died too in the plane crush
(5) Your occupation………….. Banker

Trusting to hear from you immediately,
Thanks & best regards,
Mr David Zongo



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