By Kai

He’s in Japan. She’s in the U.S. Having a long distance relationship when you’re States apart can be hard, but when you’re living in two separate countries is just beyond difficult. Skype has been an enormous help but not even that awesome invention can subdue the loneliness and longing felt by the two. Welcome to the life and ongoing issues that my friend has been facing since she started dating her boyfriend.

The two met over a year and couple months ago at a café in Los Angeles. It was an instant connection, and even though he was on a business trip from Kyoto, the two didn’t seem to mind the circumstances at all.  She was completely impressed with how fluently he spoke her language, and made it a necessity to learn his. It started out with some friendly texting and hanging out, then slowly developed into a more intimate relationship. His business trip was for only two months but he decided to extend his stay in order to spend more time getting to know my friend. Passion filled the air whenever I came around them; they seemed like the perfect couple. I was almost tortured by their fast growing love and laughed whenever they called each other ‘soulmate’. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for my friends when they find happiness, but when it’s all in my face I feel like puking. I mean well though.

After spending three months in the States, the guy went back to Japan but they continued their relationship even then. Spending countless hours talking online and even on the phone. The entire time I was the one considering the time difference and how strenuous that must be on the two (also the phone bills) but they didn’t seem to care. Their relationship was still young and very much alive. You can only imagine the many times I’ve heard my girl say ‘I love you’ or ‘I miss you’, not so much as ‘when am I going to see you again’ or ‘can I come see you soon?’ There was a certain understanding established about the situation and I thought maybe it was still early to hear any complaints about the distance.  

Lucky for my friend, her guy came back to LA four months after leaving. I swear I didn’t see her the entire time he was in town. I saw him once and after that they just stayed glued to each other. I believe he hung around for only a month this time, and that didn’t go too easy on her heart. Immediately after his departure she started to display signs of sadness and how much she wanted them to be closer together. I’m sure he felt the same but maybe he spent his days reassuring her that they would indeed work out. Her job prevents her from taking the time to go see him and I’m sure he’s just as busy with his work, being that he already took some time off to visit her. It’s been a year already and I’m seeing more signs of how the distance is affecting my friend. Often times she comes to me for advice but I never liked getting myself involved in other peoples relationships cause if it doesn’t work out I don’t want to get blamed for giving the wrong advice. Still, she’s my girl and I hate to see her going through such a hard time.

I usually tell her to talk with him about it but he keeps telling her that he doesn’t want to end it and that the relationship is going to last. She has doubts and is ever pondering on how to deal with the situation. I think she should just have faith; if she wants it to work out it will, despite the oceans apart. But if she feels she can’t handle it then maybe she should let it end. That’s just me though.

What do you think? Should my friend end the relationship or should she tough it out?