I lied. It’s not me, it’s definitely you.

By Kai

Some of us have experienced the “it’s not you, it’s me” syndrome at some point in our lives and at that very moment we think to ourselves “bullshit,” because we’ve become so familiar with the statement that we know it’s a lie. Well, I’m a firm believer in ‘honesty is the policy,’ regardless. So whenever I have an issue with a guy’s behavior, I’ll definitely call him out on it. And if I’ve decided to take a break then I’ll just be truthful, ‘you’re the problem, I need a break from you.’ See the thing is too many lies are being told in relationships and that’s why progress is not even smelt in the air. I mean, you know things are going sour but you don’t want to hurt the other person so you try to hang on as long as possible, waiting for them to let you go. Then finally the bomb drops and you just can’t take it anymore. But instead of explaining your true feelings about the situation you resort to the lower than doo-doo line, ‘This isn’t working out but it’s not you, it’s me. Maybe I wasn’t ready for a relationship yet and I just needed time to sort things out. But like I said, it’s not you it’s me.’

By now you’re reading in between his/her words and like an epiphany the hidden meaning comes out and you begin to hear what is really being said, ‘I’m so tired of trying to make this work when it obviously isn’t. It’s not me, it’s definitely you. You’re just not right for me and I need to stop wasting my time in this relationship.’

We all hate being blamed for things going bad in a relationship and often times the men are blamed ever so often than the women. And with reasonable facts. When a woman breaks up with a guy, it usually ends with ‘I’m sorry but we’re going in opposite directions,’ ‘My feelings have changed and I’m not happy,’ or ‘Sorry, but I’ve found someone else,’ straight up. It all seems so honest and true, right? But why is it that when a man ends the relationship it’s frequently with ‘It’s not you, it’s me?’ Is it because of the societal belief that ‘women are emotional and sensitive creatures who can’t handle the truth so men have to lie to protect their hearts?’ Well, in that case, I would suggest guys breaking that notion and finally be honest in conveying their feelings. In my opinion, lying makes everything worse. Just be true to yourselves and the person you’re with cause in the end what people really want to hear is the truth.