Let fart be free! Well, so they say, until you’re in jail. According to the Jamaica Star, my occasional news source, a man was allegedly beaten for passing gas in lock up by three other inmates. So, I guess people can’t even fart in peace anymore either, no? Anyways, the men are being charged with assault occasioning bodily arm, on top of whatever it is they were already in jail for to begin with.
In defense to this accusation, one of the men stated that he was cooking porridge (people cook in jail now?) when the assaulted farted in the cell. Surely that would piss anybody off. I mean, passing gas is the last thing you should do when someone’s cooking, that’s a big turn off and who would want to eat that food after such a nasty air passed through it.
Aside from the fact that the three men attacked the gas passer for such a petty thing, the judge was also appalled to learn that these men were actually allowed to cook in jail. So am I.
“Do you mean that you are able to cook inside the lock-ups? I will have to ask the police to prevent cooking in the jail,” Resident Magistrate Marcia Dunbar-Green said.
The complainant, however, told the court that the men were not telling the truth.
Allegations before the court are that on February 24, all four men were in a cell at the Portmore lock-ups when the complainant, who is charged with a sexual act,was told that he couldn’t stay there. The men then attacked him and took turns kicking and punching him all over his body.
The accusers are set to reappear in court on April 24.
I didn’t know whether to laugh or laugh hysterically after reading this. I’ve never heard anyone getting beaten for passing gas, much less people cooking in jails. What’s going on here?