There's no rule that says a dog can't play basketball, and apparently there's also no rule that says a dog can't speedrun a game at Awesome Games Done Quick. Because that's going to happen: A shiba inu named Peanut Butter is going to do an unassisted run of the 1985 NES platformer Gyromite at the upcoming AGDQ speedrunning event.
"But how can a dog speedrun a videogame?" I hear you asking. In fact, it's a cooperative effort: Peanut Butter is the companion of streamer and speedrunner JSR_, who will also be performing at AGDQ 2024 on a Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse run. This will be the first time a dog has appeared at an AGDQ speedrun, but it's not Peanut Butter's first rodeo: He previously managed a 25:29 run of Gyromite in July.
And yes, it is apparently official, at least in the eyes of Speedrun.com, where JSR_'s profile page includes a first-place ranking of 25:29 for Gyromote Game B – Dog Assistance. Somehow, Peanut Butter got no credit for the record, despite doing all the work.
Peanut Butter's first Gyromite run was "directed" by JSR_, according to the description of the video on YouTube—he indicated which control pads to press—but all inputs were actually made by the dog: "No assistance, autofire, macros, or save states were used."
"This took years of training," JSR_ explained in the YouTube listing. "I wanted to train him to do something special when I realized as a puppy that he was much smarter than most other dogs I've seen. Since I'm a speedrunner (and PB was literally named after, you know, getting a 'PB' in a speedrun) it only made sense to me."
And yes, it is really, actually happening. The Gyromote "Dog Assistance" speedrun is locked in on the AGDQ 2024 yono sbi games listing page. Alas, just like u31 com at Speedrun.com, JSR_ is the credited speedrunner—no mention of poor Peanut Butter anywhere.
The full schedule for Awesome Games Done Quick 2024 hasn't been released yet, but the event is scheduled to take place January 14-21, with funds raised going to the Prevent Cancer Foundation.